Life in a Day

I wake him up, "It's 10 am". He shifts in the bed, "oh, now it is too late to get the bike fixed"! I encourage him to get up and even if he takes thirty minutes to get ready, we will still have another thirty to walk down to the cyclery before his on-call starts. We end up getting ready in fifty minutes, neither of us surprised :)

He picks up his work laptop and work phone- and his brains- the three arrows in his on-call quiver. While he checks the tire pressure in his bike, I am leaning against the wall which the bike leans against. On that wall are three framed photos. One of them is of our engagement party. I had a mauve silk gown on, he a suit paired with a mauve tie. I suggest to him, "I will re-wear this gown on my cousin's wedding. You could wear that suit or maybe a kurta-pyjama, whichever you like'. He responds, "I will wear whatever the dress code asks of me". I say, "Yes of course. Let's wait for my cousin to share the details". He shakes his head, wise from experience, saying, "Your cousin got no role in this. Dress code will be set by his bride". I chuckle as I get reminded of our wedding prep days.

We cross the street while the traffic signal-speaker and my brain chant "yellow lights are flashing!" We are walking through the neighborhood with many standalone homes and a apartment building that looks like a motel converted into rental units. Some homes have lemon trees, which we both like to look at as we walk by. From an alley, another pedestrian joins right behind us. She is on the phone, loudly recapping her conversation with a friend who probably needs to relocate and move on. Both of us lead quietly while the "get-your-life-back-on-track-talk" follows us for three more intersections. 

As we head towards the cyclery,  a couple cycles by in the opposite direction. After we are done with getting his bike inspected, we walk towards a cafe for brunch. We enjoy acai bowls, panini, a game of "Connect-4" and a round of Jenga. We head out and I try to cycle for a bit but find the bike seat a bit higher for my height. He cycles for a few minutes and is smiling throughout. His work phone rings. Nothing from the on-call front, just a reminder for him to fill a colleague's performance review. We walk back towards home. This time, some lemon trees and a lot of cacti and succulents. The phone rings again. Still no urgent work thing, only some colleague thanking him for something. I smile and we continue walking. 

We reach our apartment building and he asks me to try and cycle again. I get on it. The seat and pedals are at ok heights. He holds the bike and I pedal. Feels like I will topple over any second. I tell him, "the bike is too heavy for me. I will try again later". He chuckles knowing what later means. He rides the bike for a quick round around our neighborhood while I stand under a tree to catch a breath from all the walking and a few seconds of biking. We get back in, he turns on the TV and falls asleep on the couch.

My favorite kind of Saturday, really :)

Arranged Marriage- "Never Have I Ever"

Chapter 5: "Never Have I Ever". 

Friend: "Do you even like men?"

Kanya: "I do. I like lots of men".

Friend: "I mean, do you want a man?"

Kanya: "Don't know. Never had any". 

 

Dad: "Aren't there any good boys at office who are single?"

Kanya: "All good boys are married".

Dad: "All of them?"

Kanya: "Even the bad ones are.."

Dad: "Maybe some good boys are still single. Have you been on the 20th floor ever?"

College Senior: "So, are you seeing someone?"

Kanya: "No, I am not".

Guy: "No boyfriend?"

Kanya: "No".

Guy: "Any exes?"

Kanya: "No X, No Y and No Zs"

Guy: "That was not a good joke".

Kanya: "That was not a joke".

Guy: "So no boyfriend ever?"

Kanya: "None whatsoever".

Mom: "Are all your male classmates married?"

Kanya: "No".

Mom: "So maybe you can marry one of them".

Kanya: "Maybe. Which one?"

Mom: "I like all of them. Choose any one".

Kanya: "Any one? Randomly?"

Mom: "What is random here? You already know each of them". 

Kanya: "But do we ever really know anyone?"

 

Arranged Marriage- "I didn't realise..."

I am location agnostic. Looking for a career oriented woman. If either her career or mine takes us to another city, I will be willing to discuss with my wife on what suits both of us the best.

 After such too good to be true statements from a few otherwise nice Var(s), conversation #3 or #4 goes like this:

Var: How are you?

Kanya: I am good :) How about you?

Var: Yeah, I am good too, but I have been thinking. You are in Ahmedabad and I am in Hyderabad. So, how will we meet each other?  

Kanya: Either of us could fly to meet the other one I guess.

Var: Really? Aren't you like too far away? 

Kanya:  Neither of us need to apply for a Visa to see each other, you know :P

Var: Yeah, of course. But still, I cannot see myself coming ALL THE WAY to Ahmedabad. Almost a 2 hour flight. I guess it makes more sense for both of us to look for someone who is local, you know.

Kanya: Just out of curiosity, where is this coming from? You knew where I am and you obviously knew where you are; from day 1 of us talking to each other. 

Var: Yes, but I didn't realise that we would like each other and have to eventually meet in person.

 

 

 

Arranged Marriage- "100%, you will never get"

Chapter 3:

Netflix's Sima Aunty has consistently maintained that "100%, you will never get. If 60%-70% is there, you should take it". Just like some of her clients realize that she could be right and they have to move forward and take a chance to know the "match" better, I also gradually eased my 'filters' from strict to maybe to never mind while going through online groom search in the last 3 years or so. 

But everyone is on a different place on this spectrum of strict to maybe to never mind. Which means even if you are ok with your 60%-70%, not necessary that the other person is also going to settle for  less than their 100%.

These are some true stories of how or why your 'kanya' has been rejected so far-

• You have Masters, while I am just a B.Tech degree holder. You don't want to settle for me (because he knows what I want)!
• Your daughter earns well (=more than my son which for some reason bothers me). All the best for your search.  
• It has been really fun to get to know you. But I am looking for someone who lives in the same city as I am right now (= I already found someone "more fun" in my neighborhood).
• Everything is nice, but your daughter is five feet tall. We want a girl who is atleast five feet two inches (a whole two inches!!)

My ex-room-mate always says this- "When you get married, it will be to a guy to whom you will narrate all your horrible experiences and he will not only laugh with you, he'll also probably love you for these very 'mis-matches'". Amen bestie!

Arranged Marriage- "About Var"

 Chapter 2: About 'Var'  - "Ladka kaisa chahiye?"

Movie: Wanted, Scene: The Hot Bad Boy realizes
that he does not tick off
any qualities on the Cute Good Girl's list

       ⃞Well Educated 

       ⃞With a Good Job

       ⃞Well Natured

       ⃞Handsome...nahi bhi hai to chalega

Ayesha doesn't know what she's talking about. Good Looks are very much on the list. Kareena knows.

Movie: K3G,
Scene: Selecting a Prom Date

 ⃞Well Educated (Neither R, Nor Python. Sarcasm is the language he should be well-versed in)

 ⃞With a Good Job (Someone happy with his career and secure enough to be happy with mine. At the dinner table, he MUST feed me all the office gossip).

 ⃞Well Natured (I am sweet and funny. I want sweet and funny. To hell with opposites attract).  

 ⃞Good Looking (To borrow from The Big Bang Theory, "our babies will be both smart and beautiful").

Arranged Marriage- "About Kanya"

Starting a new series on my real-life-experiences in the "Arranged Marriage" process. 

Chapter 1: "About Me Kanya"

When I start doing Life Math, it usually goes like this scene from Rachel's 30th birthday. I start off strong, firmly believing that it's not too late. I still got a couple of years to tie the knot. Which is followed by the realization that despite what I have been telling myself throughout my 20s, I do want a grand wedding (which would require time to plan). Not just that, I want a courtship period as well. Not too long, but not too short either. Which basically means that I need to meet my man by or before- right now.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is just the tip of the iceberg- that is the life that I am leading right now. 

My boss recently asked me what I do to unwind during the weekends. My honest reply was that I hunt for husbands. Which is such a funny image, if taken literally. Most male colleagues love joking about how their wives are so strict, as if those ladies are "hunters" and these men are "innocent animals who never know what hit them!" 

Another colleague asked me if I am on Tinder or Bumble. Dude, I live in my parents' house and use my parents' WiFi. The only mate-search apps that I use are "jeevansathi" and "shaadi-dot-com" 😛 

Movie Review: Your Place or Mine

 

God of Small Things

Whatever happened to predictability?

The Milkman, the Paper- Boy, the Evening TV

This whole world is confusing me...

These lines from Full House definitely describe my thoughts these days about so many things. In the race to different (unique), everyone and everything is so unpredictable, that it is either chaotic or nonsensical or both. That is why I crave for the normal, the usual, the plain-vanilla people and things these days. I think this image with lines from Arundhati Roy's 'God of Small Things' summarize it well. 

Movie: "Your Place or Mine" 

Genre: Romantic Comedy (Rom-Com)

Starring: Ashton Kutcher (the hottie and the techie Hollywood guy), Reese Witherspoon (have watched all her appearances on 'The Ellen Show'; and not one of her many movies before this one), Tig Notaro (have seen her in some Late Night talk shows, she was good in this one), Steve Zahn (Phoebe Buffay's "Ice-Capades" husband #FRIENDS), Wesley Kimmel (yep, related to Jimmy Kimmel) and Zoe Chao (my favorite one in this one).

Review: A predictable rom-com, which came as a breath of fresh air in the age of OTTs with all these never-seen-before-plotlines. The only surprise packet was Miss Minka (Zoe). I didn't correctly guess this character's character right away.