Arranged Marriage- "About Var"

 Chapter 2: About 'Var'  - "Ladka kaisa chahiye?"

Movie: Wanted, Scene: The Hot Bad Boy realizes
that he does not tick off
any qualities on the Cute Good Girl's list

       ⃞Well Educated 

       ⃞With a Good Job

       ⃞Well Natured

       ⃞Handsome...nahi bhi hai to chalega

Ayesha doesn't know what she's talking about. Good Looks are very much on the list. Kareena knows.

Movie: K3G,
Scene: Selecting a Prom Date

 ⃞Well Educated (Neither R, Nor Python. Sarcasm is the language he should be well-versed in)

 ⃞With a Good Job (Someone happy with his career and secure enough to be happy with mine. At the dinner table, he MUST feed me all the office gossip).

 ⃞Well Natured (I am sweet and funny. I want sweet and funny. To hell with opposites attract).  

 ⃞Good Looking (To borrow from The Big Bang Theory, "our babies will be both smart and beautiful").

Arranged Marriage- "About Kanya"

Starting a new series on my real-life-experiences in the "Arranged Marriage" process. 

Chapter 1: "About Me Kanya"

When I start doing Life Math, it usually goes like this scene from Rachel's 30th birthday. I start off strong, firmly believing that it's not too late. I still got a couple of years to tie the knot. Which is followed by the realization that despite what I have been telling myself throughout my 20s, I do want a grand wedding (which would require time to plan). Not just that, I want a courtship period as well. Not too long, but not too short either. Which basically means that I need to meet my man by or before- right now.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is just the tip of the iceberg- that is the life that I am leading right now. 

My boss recently asked me what I do to unwind during the weekends. My honest reply was that I hunt for husbands. Which is such a funny image, if taken literally. Most male colleagues love joking about how their wives are so strict, as if those ladies are "hunters" and these men are "innocent animals who never know what hit them!" 

Another colleague asked me if I am on Tinder or Bumble. Dude, I live in my parents' house and use my parents' WiFi. The only mate-search apps that I use are "jeevansathi" and "shaadi-dot-com" 😛 

Movie Review: Your Place or Mine

 

God of Small Things

Whatever happened to predictability?

The Milkman, the Paper- Boy, the Evening TV

This whole world is confusing me...

These lines from Full House definitely describe my thoughts these days about so many things. In the race to different (unique), everyone and everything is so unpredictable, that it is either chaotic or nonsensical or both. That is why I crave for the normal, the usual, the plain-vanilla people and things these days. I think this image with lines from Arundhati Roy's 'God of Small Things' summarize it well. 

Movie: "Your Place or Mine" 

Genre: Romantic Comedy (Rom-Com)

Starring: Ashton Kutcher (the hottie and the techie Hollywood guy), Reese Witherspoon (have watched all her appearances on 'The Ellen Show'; and not one of her many movies before this one), Tig Notaro (have seen her in some Late Night talk shows, she was good in this one), Steve Zahn (Phoebe Buffay's "Ice-Capades" husband #FRIENDS), Wesley Kimmel (yep, related to Jimmy Kimmel) and Zoe Chao (my favorite one in this one).

Review: A predictable rom-com, which came as a breath of fresh air in the age of OTTs with all these never-seen-before-plotlines. The only surprise packet was Miss Minka (Zoe). I didn't correctly guess this character's character right away. 

 

Highs & Lows

How was your winter break? Did you go someplace during your annual leaves? What did you do during your time off? January office meetings always begin with these questions. Short answers are- Break was good. Yes, I travelled for a few days and stayed home for the most time. Binged on food and music.

And here we go with the long answers-

Statue of Unity- a trip to Kevadiya- one of the best holiday experiences

• Morning Train- about 2.5 hours' duration- including a U-turn that the train took two hours into the journey.
• Visited the Statue and nearby Valley of Flowers in free-of-cost hop-on/hop-off buses-- realization that public transport can be frequent and affordable (if not free), if the authorities are willing to. 
• Noted the availability of clean and free drinking water at regular spots across the town-- first trip where I didn't need to buy bottled water .
• Meal options were brands like Havmor, Gwalia, Subway, Starbucks, McDonalds.
• While December is one of the best times to visit this place, weather was still extremely hot. The only times my family and I used our sweaters/jackets were during train rides to and from Kevadiya.
• Night train- same train, same duration, same u-turn!

Pavagadh- a holy hill station- a trip where everything that could go wrong, went wrong

• We were still on a happy high from our trip to the Statue and planned this hill station trip for the very next weekend. 
• Googled about Pavagadh. Read somewhere that there are about 250 steps' climb to the main temple. Our assumption was that ascent, prayer and descent would take about 3 hours and accordingly pre-booked our bus tickets to and from Pavagadh. 
• Reality- It was not 250 steps. My guess- 5000 steps. It became very clear very soon that we should have opted for the ropeway option.
• In the first 5 minutes of the climb, my blood sugar level dropped. And of-course the legs ached badly through-out the descent. As someone who wasn't walking for even 5 minutes on any given day, I shouldn't have expected a different outcome(now I walk every-day for at-least 30 minutes).
• Actual trek time was 4 hours going up and 2.5 hours coming down. Missed the return bus. Didn't find any seats in any alternate buses for the next 1 hour. Then decided to take a shared taxi to the nearest big city and try for buses/trains from there.
• As it was a hilly area, the shared taxi skid a bit and bumped into a vehicle in front. No injuries, but that vehicle got many dents. Another 40 minutes or so wasted watching the 2 drivers fight, calm down and eventually settle with money.
• Finally reached the big city. As expected, got some seats in the first bus itself. The very long day came to end some 3 hours later that night. 
• Did I mention popular eateries to choose from in/around Kevadiya? In my Pavagadh trek, lunch was 2-3 bottles of Sprite and 1 American Corn cob to keep my blood sugar level in check. Dinner was a slice of Bread with Jam- back home- at midnight.
• And of-course, no photos were clicked during this trip. 
• I was so low after this trip, for next several days!

Dried Inkpot

 

Writing used to be easier for me. Words flowed naturally when I wrote my first poem at age 9. Also when I wrote my first blog-post 14 or 15 years ago. Most definitely in the years 2011, 2012 and 2015 (per the statistics of this blog). It was easy to write poems, short stories, book reviews, TV series reviews and even anecdotes. Whereas now, it seems difficult to write an email or even a text.

I feel like the main reason is that in the earlier years, external feedback didn't matter more than the internal satisfaction that comes with writing a piece. There was a fearlessness back then. Maybe a nonchalance. While today, it is all about- (1) whether this thought is writeable? (2) whether what I wrote can be published? (3) how many views, likes, comments? (4) what next can I write on, I cannot be a 1-post wonder. Must write again and more. 

Has the inkpot dried? Maybe. So why refill now? Because it is cathartic. With many negatives of the real world, that plague the mind, writing is like a familiar few sips of tonic that can slow-heal the heart.

Four Days & Three Nights

(475 words)

A couple of questions running through my mind:

      i.       Is it okay to use to the term ‘Staycation’ if your stay is in your home (Not a holiday home, but the very home that you live in)?
Can you unlearn how to be independent (and independence here is not the kind we see in History textbooks, but the feeling of being on your own)?

About eleven years ago, I got a chance at independence. It was certainly very tough for my parents to see their little love going to another city for College, but they were proud of me.

Being on my own was not being taken care of by my parents, but instead being taken care of by my friends. Independence to some degree, for starters.

About seven years ago, a new chance for some more independence. My parents were prouder of me and this was tougher on them, since the move was now to a Big City, for B-School.

With the “degree of freedom” increased, I learnt how to take care of myself. Wasn’t on my own still, but now I was ready to be on my own.   

About five years ago, I attained “full” independence when I started working and earning (renting an apartment with a stranger, paying bills, cooking food, shopping for stuff, early morning trips with friends, going to movies past midnight, boarding a plane solo to & from across the globe, changing jobs, living solo, going to the movies solo and even eating out in restaurants alone).

About year and a half ago, I opted for a week of work from home as the world started to close due to an epidemic. That week ended with the start of National lockdown and start of living full time with my family. It was not tough for my parents, finally!

Full independence for me gave way to a co-dependence for the three of us.

About a week ago, I lost my uncle to a tragic accident. My parents had to visit the family for the last rites. This time it was my parents going to another city, and it was the toughest for them. How will our overgrown baby, who is in a managerial job by the way, “manage” to be on her own?

Here’s how: With a ‘4 days, 3 nights home staycation’ (in the saddest of circumstances). While Instagram went to ‘revenge trips’ to hills and beaches, I stayed in a place I literally call home. This place had everything- no crowds, no safety concerns, no e-pass or test reports needed, the beds were comfortable, the food home cooked with all my favorites on the menu, I connected with nature each day while watering the plants in my parents’ garden and when the break ended, I got the answers to the questions posed in the beginning of this post.

Diwali: A New Beginning

I am part of a transnational team at work. With each member belonging to different countries, we all have learnt a lot about different time zones and more importantly, about different holidays.  

Since Diwali is round the corner, my team knows that a multi-day holiday on my calendar is coming soon. However, the length of the holiday is not fixed across different parts of the country and it may vary from 1 day to 7 days (plus or minus vacation days that people often club along with the festival).

In many conversations lately, my international colleagues have mentioned interesting tit-bits of what they associate this 'Indian' festival with:

• Lights, candles, diyas and lanterns
  
• Sweets and food
• Family time

All of these are true and the popular parts of this festival. But these things, in variations, form part of most festivals across the world. I have been thinking a lot about Diwali and what each day of the festival means (to me):

• Dhanteras: the day when people traditionally buy jewelry, kitchen items and clothes, and nowadays electronics as well. Basically spending/investing money.
• Chhoti Diwali: the day before Diwali. The final day of house-cleaning (which starts weeks or months in advance before the D-day). Also the day when sweets and snacks are prepared.
• Diwali: the day when the Lord, his wife and his brother, returned to their kingdom. Their homecoming was celebrated by lighting 'deeps' or 'diyas' or lamps. Also by making-merry. Many other noteworthy decorations are- floral arrangements including garlands, colored patterns on floors called "Rangoli" and stickers- often religious. The day of prayers and partying alike. 
• Govardhan Puja: the day after Diwali. Celebrating another God, who in his childhood saved an entire village by lifting a mighty mountain on his tiny fingers. In my home, we celebrate by eating maybe "what God ate that day"- Radish (a scrumptious 'Mooli Parantha' breakfast) and Punjabi Kadhi (my favorite 'Kadhi-Chawal' lunch). Also, this day marks the Gujarati New Year ('Bestu Varas').
• Bhai Dooj: the day of Brothers and Sisters (with the word 'Bhai' literally meaning brothers). Sisters basically put an auspicious colored mark ("tilak") on brothers' foreheads and everyone eats sweets. 
• Labh Pancham: the fifth day after Diwali. From Diwali till this day, Gujarati businesses and offices are closed and people are vacationing. On this day, businesses open up, counting it as the day 1 in their Account Ledgers. 

Apart of these days that I know of, there are other days in between, each celebrated as a festival, in different parts of the country. But a major theme is of new beginnings and prosperity- be it the new purchases, house cleaning- to the point that it looks as good as new, and the New year itself. I think, this year more than ever, we all await a new beginning...