Life in a Day

I wake him up, "It's 10 am". He shifts in the bed, "oh, now it is too late to get the bike fixed"! I encourage him to get up and even if he takes thirty minutes to get ready, we will still have another thirty to walk down to the cyclery before his on-call starts. We end up getting ready in fifty minutes, neither of us surprised :)

He picks up his work laptop and work phone- and his brains- the three arrows in his on-call quiver. While he checks the tire pressure in his bike, I am leaning against the wall which the bike leans against. On that wall are three framed photos. One of them is of our engagement party. I had a mauve silk gown on, he a suit paired with a mauve tie. I suggest to him, "I will re-wear this gown on my cousin's wedding. You could wear that suit or maybe a kurta-pyjama, whichever you like'. He responds, "I will wear whatever the dress code asks of me". I say, "Yes of course. Let's wait for my cousin to share the details". He shakes his head, wise from experience, saying, "Your cousin got no role in this. Dress code will be set by his bride". I chuckle as I get reminded of our wedding prep days.

We cross the street while the traffic signal-speaker and my brain chant "yellow lights are flashing!" We are walking through the neighborhood with many standalone homes and a apartment building that looks like a motel converted into rental units. Some homes have lemon trees, which we both like to look at as we walk by. From an alley, another pedestrian joins right behind us. She is on the phone, loudly recapping her conversation with a friend who probably needs to relocate and move on. Both of us lead quietly while the "get-your-life-back-on-track-talk" follows us for three more intersections. 

As we head towards the cyclery,  a couple cycles by in the opposite direction. After we are done with getting his bike inspected, we walk towards a cafe for brunch. We enjoy acai bowls, panini, a game of "Connect-4" and a round of Jenga. We head out and I try to cycle for a bit but find the bike seat a bit higher for my height. He cycles for a few minutes and is smiling throughout. His work phone rings. Nothing from the on-call front, just a reminder for him to fill a colleague's performance review. We walk back towards home. This time, some lemon trees and a lot of cacti and succulents. The phone rings again. Still no urgent work thing, only some colleague thanking him for something. I smile and we continue walking. 

We reach our apartment building and he asks me to try and cycle again. I get on it. The seat and pedals are at ok heights. He holds the bike and I pedal. Feels like I will topple over any second. I tell him, "the bike is too heavy for me. I will try again later". He chuckles knowing what later means. He rides the bike for a quick round around our neighborhood while I stand under a tree to catch a breath from all the walking and a few seconds of biking. We get back in, he turns on the TV and falls asleep on the couch.

My favorite kind of Saturday, really :)

Arranged Marriage- "Never Have I Ever"

Chapter 5: "Never Have I Ever". 

Friend: "Do you even like men?"

Kanya: "I do. I like lots of men".

Friend: "I mean, do you want a man?"

Kanya: "Don't know. Never had any". 

 

Dad: "Aren't there any good boys at office who are single?"

Kanya: "All good boys are married".

Dad: "All of them?"

Kanya: "Even the bad ones are.."

Dad: "Maybe some good boys are still single. Have you been on the 20th floor ever?"

College Senior: "So, are you seeing someone?"

Kanya: "No, I am not".

Guy: "No boyfriend?"

Kanya: "No".

Guy: "Any exes?"

Kanya: "No X, No Y and No Zs"

Guy: "That was not a good joke".

Kanya: "That was not a joke".

Guy: "So no boyfriend ever?"

Kanya: "None whatsoever".

Mom: "Are all your male classmates married?"

Kanya: "No".

Mom: "So maybe you can marry one of them".

Kanya: "Maybe. Which one?"

Mom: "I like all of them. Choose any one".

Kanya: "Any one? Randomly?"

Mom: "What is random here? You already know each of them". 

Kanya: "But do we ever really know anyone?"

 

Arranged Marriage- "I didn't realise..."

I am location agnostic. Looking for a career oriented woman. If either her career or mine takes us to another city, I will be willing to discuss with my wife on what suits both of us the best.

 After such too good to be true statements from a few otherwise nice Var(s), conversation #3 or #4 goes like this:

Var: How are you?

Kanya: I am good :) How about you?

Var: Yeah, I am good too, but I have been thinking. You are in Ahmedabad and I am in Hyderabad. So, how will we meet each other?  

Kanya: Either of us could fly to meet the other one I guess.

Var: Really? Aren't you like too far away? 

Kanya:  Neither of us need to apply for a Visa to see each other, you know :P

Var: Yeah, of course. But still, I cannot see myself coming ALL THE WAY to Ahmedabad. Almost a 2 hour flight. I guess it makes more sense for both of us to look for someone who is local, you know.

Kanya: Just out of curiosity, where is this coming from? You knew where I am and you obviously knew where you are; from day 1 of us talking to each other. 

Var: Yes, but I didn't realise that we would like each other and have to eventually meet in person.

 

 

 

Arranged Marriage- "100%, you will never get"

Chapter 3:

Netflix's Sima Aunty has consistently maintained that "100%, you will never get. If 60%-70% is there, you should take it". Just like some of her clients realize that she could be right and they have to move forward and take a chance to know the "match" better, I also gradually eased my 'filters' from strict to maybe to never mind while going through online groom search in the last 3 years or so. 

But everyone is on a different place on this spectrum of strict to maybe to never mind. Which means even if you are ok with your 60%-70%, not necessary that the other person is also going to settle for  less than their 100%.

These are some true stories of how or why your 'kanya' has been rejected so far-

• You have Masters, while I am just a B.Tech degree holder. You don't want to settle for me (because he knows what I want)!
• Your daughter earns well (=more than my son which for some reason bothers me). All the best for your search.  
• It has been really fun to get to know you. But I am looking for someone who lives in the same city as I am right now (= I already found someone "more fun" in my neighborhood).
• Everything is nice, but your daughter is five feet tall. We want a girl who is atleast five feet two inches (a whole two inches!!)

My ex-room-mate always says this- "When you get married, it will be to a guy to whom you will narrate all your horrible experiences and he will not only laugh with you, he'll also probably love you for these very 'mis-matches'". Amen bestie!

Arranged Marriage- "About Var"

 Chapter 2: About 'Var'  - "Ladka kaisa chahiye?"

Movie: Wanted, Scene: The Hot Bad Boy realizes
that he does not tick off
any qualities on the Cute Good Girl's list

       ⃞Well Educated 

       ⃞With a Good Job

       ⃞Well Natured

       ⃞Handsome...nahi bhi hai to chalega

Ayesha doesn't know what she's talking about. Good Looks are very much on the list. Kareena knows.

Movie: K3G,
Scene: Selecting a Prom Date

 ⃞Well Educated (Neither R, Nor Python. Sarcasm is the language he should be well-versed in)

 ⃞With a Good Job (Someone happy with his career and secure enough to be happy with mine. At the dinner table, he MUST feed me all the office gossip).

 ⃞Well Natured (I am sweet and funny. I want sweet and funny. To hell with opposites attract).  

 ⃞Good Looking (To borrow from The Big Bang Theory, "our babies will be both smart and beautiful").

Arranged Marriage- "About Kanya"

Starting a new series on my real-life-experiences in the "Arranged Marriage" process. 

Chapter 1: "About Me Kanya"

When I start doing Life Math, it usually goes like this scene from Rachel's 30th birthday. I start off strong, firmly believing that it's not too late. I still got a couple of years to tie the knot. Which is followed by the realization that despite what I have been telling myself throughout my 20s, I do want a grand wedding (which would require time to plan). Not just that, I want a courtship period as well. Not too long, but not too short either. Which basically means that I need to meet my man by or before- right now.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is just the tip of the iceberg- that is the life that I am leading right now. 

My boss recently asked me what I do to unwind during the weekends. My honest reply was that I hunt for husbands. Which is such a funny image, if taken literally. Most male colleagues love joking about how their wives are so strict, as if those ladies are "hunters" and these men are "innocent animals who never know what hit them!" 

Another colleague asked me if I am on Tinder or Bumble. Dude, I live in my parents' house and use my parents' WiFi. The only mate-search apps that I use are "jeevansathi" and "shaadi-dot-com" 😛 

Four Days & Three Nights

(475 words)

A couple of questions running through my mind:

      i.       Is it okay to use to the term ‘Staycation’ if your stay is in your home (Not a holiday home, but the very home that you live in)?
Can you unlearn how to be independent (and independence here is not the kind we see in History textbooks, but the feeling of being on your own)?

About eleven years ago, I got a chance at independence. It was certainly very tough for my parents to see their little love going to another city for College, but they were proud of me.

Being on my own was not being taken care of by my parents, but instead being taken care of by my friends. Independence to some degree, for starters.

About seven years ago, a new chance for some more independence. My parents were prouder of me and this was tougher on them, since the move was now to a Big City, for B-School.

With the “degree of freedom” increased, I learnt how to take care of myself. Wasn’t on my own still, but now I was ready to be on my own.   

About five years ago, I attained “full” independence when I started working and earning (renting an apartment with a stranger, paying bills, cooking food, shopping for stuff, early morning trips with friends, going to movies past midnight, boarding a plane solo to & from across the globe, changing jobs, living solo, going to the movies solo and even eating out in restaurants alone).

About year and a half ago, I opted for a week of work from home as the world started to close due to an epidemic. That week ended with the start of National lockdown and start of living full time with my family. It was not tough for my parents, finally!

Full independence for me gave way to a co-dependence for the three of us.

About a week ago, I lost my uncle to a tragic accident. My parents had to visit the family for the last rites. This time it was my parents going to another city, and it was the toughest for them. How will our overgrown baby, who is in a managerial job by the way, “manage” to be on her own?

Here’s how: With a ‘4 days, 3 nights home staycation’ (in the saddest of circumstances). While Instagram went to ‘revenge trips’ to hills and beaches, I stayed in a place I literally call home. This place had everything- no crowds, no safety concerns, no e-pass or test reports needed, the beds were comfortable, the food home cooked with all my favorites on the menu, I connected with nature each day while watering the plants in my parents’ garden and when the break ended, I got the answers to the questions posed in the beginning of this post.

Diwali: A New Beginning

I am part of a transnational team at work. With each member belonging to different countries, we all have learnt a lot about different time zones and more importantly, about different holidays.  

Since Diwali is round the corner, my team knows that a multi-day holiday on my calendar is coming soon. However, the length of the holiday is not fixed across different parts of the country and it may vary from 1 day to 7 days (plus or minus vacation days that people often club along with the festival).

In many conversations lately, my international colleagues have mentioned interesting tit-bits of what they associate this 'Indian' festival with:

• Lights, candles, diyas and lanterns
  
• Sweets and food
• Family time

All of these are true and the popular parts of this festival. But these things, in variations, form part of most festivals across the world. I have been thinking a lot about Diwali and what each day of the festival means (to me):

• Dhanteras: the day when people traditionally buy jewelry, kitchen items and clothes, and nowadays electronics as well. Basically spending/investing money.
• Chhoti Diwali: the day before Diwali. The final day of house-cleaning (which starts weeks or months in advance before the D-day). Also the day when sweets and snacks are prepared.
• Diwali: the day when the Lord, his wife and his brother, returned to their kingdom. Their homecoming was celebrated by lighting 'deeps' or 'diyas' or lamps. Also by making-merry. Many other noteworthy decorations are- floral arrangements including garlands, colored patterns on floors called "Rangoli" and stickers- often religious. The day of prayers and partying alike. 
• Govardhan Puja: the day after Diwali. Celebrating another God, who in his childhood saved an entire village by lifting a mighty mountain on his tiny fingers. In my home, we celebrate by eating maybe "what God ate that day"- Radish (a scrumptious 'Mooli Parantha' breakfast) and Punjabi Kadhi (my favorite 'Kadhi-Chawal' lunch). Also, this day marks the Gujarati New Year ('Bestu Varas').
• Bhai Dooj: the day of Brothers and Sisters (with the word 'Bhai' literally meaning brothers). Sisters basically put an auspicious colored mark ("tilak") on brothers' foreheads and everyone eats sweets. 
• Labh Pancham: the fifth day after Diwali. From Diwali till this day, Gujarati businesses and offices are closed and people are vacationing. On this day, businesses open up, counting it as the day 1 in their Account Ledgers. 

Apart of these days that I know of, there are other days in between, each celebrated as a festival, in different parts of the country. But a major theme is of new beginnings and prosperity- be it the new purchases, house cleaning- to the point that it looks as good as new, and the New year itself. I think, this year more than ever, we all await a new beginning...  

When Life Gives You Contests

Class 4 or 5: I had gone to another school for an inter-school computer quiz competition. In between various quizzes, there was a 'lottery' kind of thing in which all participating students were handed a card to fill in their names and drop in a bowl. That card was from the sponsors of the event and there was a question- to choose one out of three items- Speakers, Modem and one more thing. 9 year old me knew what Speakers were and had a vague idea of Modem. Plus even at that age, I knew lotteries are just chance and had no hopes whatsoever. I just ticked on Speakers and tossed in the bowl. 

The very first lottery winner in that event was me! That day I took some cool Speakers back home, along with the quiz certificate of course. My brother was amused at my 'luck' and also told me next time to really try for Modem 😛

Class 9 or 10: Listening to FM was like a major part of my day, specially when I stayed home to 'study' during pre-exam days and my parents were off to work. I think it was my favorite radio show, which had a radio contest. Some random thing- like guess that masala or vegetable or something. I told mom that I'm calling the radio station to participate- and mom said 'go ahead'. I knew that there would be like 50-100 people who call the radio station at the same time and there are close to zero chances that my call would even connect. My call did connect- and the RJ said in his cheeky voice "Hi, Wassup... what's the answer?" I was tongue-tied! All I could say was "Uhhh..." and he said "Uhhh?? That's not the right answer! 🤣🤣"  

Anyway, only a few days later- I had fully recovered from this shyness + shock and I called them again for some other contest and yes- I won two free tickets to the latest movie "36 China Town" which I took my mom to see with me. And then one more radio contest- where we won a bunch of goodies- including a CD with Kishore Kumar classics💗

So basically whenever life gives me contests- I participate, with zero ambition plus a little confidence, and it ends well🙂

P.S: I just participated in an Instagram contest where I had to upload a  1 minute video of my mom cooking her signature dish💌 There are like 800+ submissions and I have very basic video making skills and well, who knows.. 😉

A Stronger City

Always: A city that never sleeps. The City of Dreams. The city that famously braves floods or even attacks one day and still steps out to go to work the next day. The Maximum City- with maximum opportunities.

The year 2020: Hotspot for pandemic. Local Trains stop. Empty roads in the morning rush hour. Financial Capital wears a deserted look.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had read somewhere- "Each person's memories are his or her private literature". True!
So, if I have to describe Mumbai, I need to choose from my memories-

• Pav Bhaji on Juhu Beach with family
• Ragi Dosa at Madras Cafe with friends
• Two years of MBA spent mostly by strolling around fancy Hiranandani Powai
• Three months of sales training in Malvani slums of Malad
• Morning walks in crammed roads to office
• Evening walks on the Worli Seaface
• Seeing the Lower Parel skyline driving through Dadar flower market
• Avoiding chawls while searching for apartments to rent in SoBo
• Waiting 17 hours for mom who got stuck in a train near Nala Sopara during monsoon 
• Being happily stuck in lines for darshan at Lalbaug and Siddhivinayak
• First time my parents tasted Naturals' ice-creams
• Next time when my parents visited and insisted on having Natural's ice-cream
• Watching plays at Prithvi theater, St. Andrews and NCPA with friends and colleagues
• Managing with expensive and cramped limited housing options with unfriendly flatmates
• Spending 2-3 hours on Western Expressway in the infamous traffic on Fridays
• Enjoying next 2 days of weekend with my uncle, aunt and cousin

The Maximum city has provided me with maximum experiences- both good and bad. And through these, I have grown up. Like me, millions of others have lived in and loved Mumbai and become stronger through their individual experiences. 

And although the city now is facing the worst, it too will grow up through these tough times to be better place. There may not get a magical, radical makeover of the city after the lockdown, but it definitely will build some immunity for future. I don't know about the changes in processes and policies, but its people will evolve to stronger ways of life. And with that, Mumbai will be 'a stronger city'.

Time Travel

The world now-a-days feels like Time Travel. Not just the fact that pandemics apparently occur every 100 years or so. The many changes in our lives are now mirroring big episodes from the past. 

"First passenger train runs today..."- is this from a few hours ago; or from the year 1853?

While in 2020 I am Youtube-ing "how to bake a cake without oven"; my mom was doing just that in a pressure cooker back in 1970s. 

Twice-a-day Ramayan and Mahabharat episodes have clearly transported an entire nation to the 1987-1990 Doordarshan era.

Study on weekdays and Games on weekends. I have done this in the early 2000s. I am doing it since late March of 2020 as well. 

[Back then study was like Math, English, Hindi and Social Studies, now it is learning Spanish Language and Culture😎]

[Back then the Games were cards, scrabble, carrom and Tambola. Now, same! 😄]

Speaking of Tambola: 

Have heard on numerous occasions how mom-dad, uncles-aunts and their respective families would all know each other and spend moments together to cherish. Have also heard my parents saying that our generation doesn't have these kind of bonds; all we have is WhatsApp! 

Well, in this world of social distancing, my world is social again. Proof: for last 5 weekends , every Saturday night is spent playing Tambola, on WhatsApp, with-

1. My mom and all her siblings
2. All their children
3. My aunt's cousin
4. My cousins' in-laws
5. My sister-in-law and her siblings

Don't know what Einstein was looking for from his time machine, I got my time travel alright!!

Descent

Monotony sets in

 

Favorite Section of the Newspaper

Day 1: Glad to be home. Parents relieved.

Day 2: I take the car out again. Had started learning driving from Dad last week. From training ground to actual roads, 2nd gear to 3rd. I return and mom lays out the Yoga mat. Post breakfast, I sit with newspaper cartoons and crosswords. 

Day 3: Driving Practice continues. Back home, time for Yoga with mom. A quick Sudoku session. Garfield, funny as always. Calvin & Hobbes, not so much today. Work from Home begins. In the evening, I check my Spanish course's exam date-sheet. Serious Spanish studying begins. 

Day 4: Same as day 3. I see a new Akshay Kumar- Fortune foods advertisement. Love it! Watching on loop now.

Day 5: Much the same. 3rd to 4th gear. Braking. Turning. Yoga. Work from Home. Aprendo español. 

Day 6: Same. A pattern emerges for coming days.

Day 7: All the same. Work meetings all week have been on impact and mitigation and readiness in tough times of COVID-19 era. Stay up all night to finish Spanish assignment. All done, ready to post tomorrow.

A Week of Firsts

Day 8: First weekend arrives. No driving today. Missed Yoga too. Parents blame me, I blame assignment deadline. 

Day 9: First ever nation-wide curfew day. Cleaned my dressing table today- arranged all my cosmetics and jewels in neat lines and cute stacks. Evening session of community clapping is like a never before feeling. 

Day 10: First day without newspaper. Mom tries to cheer me up by deciding to cook different dishes every day. Her first dish- Bisi Bille Huli Anna. 

Day 11: How adorable are Jimmy Fallon's daughters!! Mom's special today- sun dried microwave baked potato chips. 8 p.m.- 21 days' national lockdown announced, starting midnight.

Day 12: First day of lockdown

1. Video chat with baby niece and yoga are now morning constants. 
2. A colleague skypes to remind me that I shouldn't be working today on account of Gudi Padwa holiday for Mumbai folks. Since the word 'holiday' has lost its meaning, I continue working.
3. Have a good lunch, my favorite vegetable Tori is in the menu today. 
4. Dinner video chat with uncle & aunt who are cooking something exotic- Beetroot Tikki  & some firangi salad! 
5. Fizzy Goblet- a pretty shoes company- suggests on Instagram to use this time to do some coloring.                         

Day 13: Watching movie Super 30. It is raining tonight. Smell of geeli mitti 💚

Day 14: Vegetable Dalia's Cutlet in breakfast. Pav Bhaji in Dinner. 

[Feel the need to really say this- I'm extremely thankful to God and trying so hard from writing anything on the real sadness that the world is in].

Day 15: First episode of Mahabharat on Doordarshan 

[Also, cannot stop thinking of millions across the globe who are affected. Never lived in a constant fear. Please God, help]. 

Losing my nerves

Day 16: I text 15 of my friends and colleagues: 'hi' and 'hope you are safe'. All of them are. They ask me the same. My reply, same. Sudden bouts of "how-are-you", check.

Day 17: I see a "to-be-bride" wish-list/meme and send it to 3 friends captioning "This is so me". Turns out I texted to 2 of my friends and to my mom. #textfail, check.

My mom is happy that my mind is on "the right track". Oops🙈

Day 18: Have no memory of the day...

Day 19: Navratri's Ashtami a.k.a. Kanjak, a.k.a. Poori-Chole-Halwa day. Had multiple halwa servings throughout the day!! Binge eating, check.

Day 20: 

1. Morning- I am upset at my mom for not waking me up on time (although I never wake up on time and mock her for treating me like a school kid who needs to be woken up on time)
2. In between- Work From Home
3. Night- Mom catches a tear in my eye as I see Bharat (in a scene where Bharat doesn't know that Ram has been ordered exile) #RamayanOnDD
4. Later that night- I am completely mad that Nattu Kaka and Bagha are protesting against poor Jethalal and now stupid reporter Anarkali is running a smear campaign against Jetha (completely forgetting that Jethalal's problematic life is the very premise of Tarak Mehta ka Oolta Chasma)
5. Late late night- I find out that my flatmates back in Mumbai are in even tougher situation, now that the building has reported a patient and entire society there is under quarantine. 

This I guess was my body reacting to the mental toll of global tragedies, confinement and uncertainty that I had been suppressing for many weeks now. 

This is not only about the last 20 days. For me, it all started in January, when my office canceled a work trip because our China colleagues couldn't travel due to a "flu" and we were advised to "rethink our travel plans", and when in February our European bosses started talking of business contingency plans; also when towards the start of March my parents said if I could stay back after the Holi long weekend to ultimately when I boarded that train back home, praying all through the 6 hours of that journey that I don't get infected. 

My many years of wish 'to be with my parents and work from home' had come true, and that was what gave me a sense of happiness; masking the sadness- precisely the reason for this mental descent. 

Prayers

Happy New Year!

I am not an atheist, nor am I a pious lady. Just a simple believe-in-God kind. Someone who tries to pray every morning, but misses more often than should. It is not a part-of-life like it is for my parents.

But my praying habits are not like those who mentioned in the Hindi doha "dukh mein sumiran sab karein, sukh mein kare na koy.." [everyone remembers God in sorrow, no one thinks of him in times of joy]. My prayers have been in all times- sad/happy/neutral.

Some in family pray first thing in the morning, some twice a day, others during the day (in between a commute or in the waiting rooms with praying beads), some by scribbling Lord's name in notebooks and a few towards the end of the day before lying down for sleep. Schools had morning assemblies, which means that for 12 years, I prayed every morning. Most of it was just singing, but it was consistent. A routine.

Now my prayers are less songs/hymns/mantras and more words. Words, that change with time, and which are either a request or gratitude for a request fulfilled. Words about wordly affairs like work, visa, marriage, travel etc. Occasionally about bestowing 'sadbuddhi' (loose translation=good brains) to my flatmates :P (funny but earnest request).

Elders say that praying leads to feeling positive. Never prayed so fervently to feel much but anytime I see my baby niece folding hands and flashing all of her 8 teeth when someone says 'jai jai', there is a sudden wave of positive that flows all across me. I admit I'm drawn to a gurudwara for the halwa (prasad) & to a church for the architecture and whenever I go to mandirs, jumping up to ring the bells draws maximum of my focus. But a quiet chat with God, after dressing up in the morning, is very concentrated amount of feel-good I feel.

And now, since my brain is not able to end this post in any other way, here's a true story-
Class I, age 6: my teacher had asked me if I knew what my name means. My reply was that Vinti means prayer to God!

Just Because.

I wrote my first piece when I was in class 4th. That was a poem. That followed with many other poems, short stories, a play and ultimately blogging.
While my writing style evolved from poetry to blog, the content changed from fiction to anecdotes (and the occasional book/movie/tv-series reviews). My words were appreciated by some, dismissed as confusing by others and even led to a few fights back in the day (so proud!)

In the recent past, some of my posts mentioned how things weren't going my way, and then a hope that they will. Now, they have started to. But one thing I realized that has changed is not the circumstances, but my own interests.

From some-one who read so many books and wrote so many posts, I now am some-one who keeps on drafting posts in her mind but out of sheer laziness, seldom pens it down. Most of this is also attributed to the binge-watching of all the content being streamed now. I recently read 'The Handmaid's Tale' by Margaret Atwood and earlier this year saw one of the cleverest shows on American politics- 'Veep' starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus; and have been meaning to review those two. But I haven't.

Last year, I had started learning Spanish on Duolingo (my favorite app of all times). Earlier this year, I started pursuing a Certificate course in Spanish Language and Culture. People asked me if I was doing this to get a job in a Spanish speaking land. The answer was no. This was my 'just because'. Started on really strong, but like many other interests, it took a backseat too- laziness fueled by infinite stream-able content again took over the steering wheels here.

This changes right now. I have an exam to sit for to achieve the first level of certification in Spanish. With this post, I am not going to vent out sad feelings or paint a story. What this post is for me to discipline myself to get back to the thing I started 'just because' and take it to the finish line. I decide to study all the 16 units and revise all of them, so that towards the end of this year, I ace the Spanish test, much like most tests that I have sat for. Not just that, I will publish at-least one blog-post written entirely in Spanish by the end of 2019. You know, just because.

Catching up with Time, Tide & Kaki

When I was a school going kid, today meant tricolor flags, Red Fort on Doordarshan, A.R. Rehman's Vande Mataram and the movie Roja.
Also, today could mean I getting dressed, my brother taking a bath, my failed attempt at tying the knots of Rakhi and our favorite cylinder-shaped Gulab Jamuns.
In general there used to be a feeling very much like the festival we were celebrating.

Today, however, the feeling was of a 24 hour break from the routine that I follow begrudgingly of going to office, being the corporate stooge, coming back to the house and dealing with the unpleasant flat-mates in a space crunched Mumbai apartment.
Actually, scratch that. The feeling was of waking up in my cousin's home, amazing meals of methi parantha, home made hummus & wheat pita and suji ka halwa.

Accompanying the taste bud pleasers was a very interesting conversation of what my 13 year old cousin aspires to study. The answer is History. And I'm proud of her. I could immediately see her in a futuristic version of Dan Brown novels.
While growing up, Social Studies never seemed to me as a subject for occupation. I guess many of my fellow countrymen had the same limited views and we have built an army of doctors and engineers and MBAs. No rants from my side, as I am one of the soldiers with two of these qualifications. In-fact, I am very happy with the way my academic life has been.

Aim is to have a similar, satisfying life ahead. One tiny bundle of joy making my life better one day at a time is my baby niece. By the way, ever since she started crawling, my brother- her dad- has this saying- "time, tide and kaki wait for none!"

And time flies! Here I am talking about my childhood & school, while also looking forward to next week when my other cousin- who's my age- is getting engaged. Surely YD is one of the first of many more nieces and nephews to come. Golly, and to think I used to go to school till a decade ago.

Prodigal Blogger

So I didn't write anything the entire last year. One post I had written and not published because at that time, it was not shaping up to be something I wanted it to be. Today, I read the incomplete draft and just clicked 'publish' because that is a joyous feeling.

Last year has been the year when graph of quality went down on most aspects of my life, with a few upward happy spikes. With change in living situation, I saw myself moving from a lovely rented apartment to a sad makeshift paying guest accommodation. Not just the place, but the co-inhabitants too changed from an office colleague to I-can't-believe-these-idiots-are-working-professionals-because-who-would-hire-these-crybabies.
With changes in my organization, I had to part ways with my work friends' circle, my workplace and my work as such.
I have a place to go to sleep in and I am employed; but that's what personal and professional lives have been reduced to.

February did give me the opportunity to wear cute one-pieces as the emcee of an office event. Plus the opportunity to gift a plant to my brother and sister-in-law on their first wedding anniversary. I think plants are the best. I am not a pet person and cannot take care of other humans, but plants I love.

April did bring me the chance to attend closest cousin's wedding a.k.a. chance to wear Instagram-worthy clothes.

One of the summer months- do not know which- did introduce me to Duolingo, the app on which I have been learning Spanish.

July did get me felicitation from a top boss- another Instagram worthy picture with he and I twinning in baby pink :)

Speaking of baby, August did give me the most precious baby niece ever. She is an exceptional child because apart from her, and those Johnson Baby commercials' babies, that age group does not fancy me. Since August, my everyday has been spent talking to her or just looking at her pictures and videos. God bless you, Love.

With a general sadness at work and home, and a handful happy moments, 2018 came to an end.

2019 has started and all unfulfilled personal and professional goals of last year have rolled over to this calendar. Have already suffered an injury on left ankle, so things have 'kicked off' in style!

What I am continuing from 2018 is learning Spanish and what I discontinue is not reading a single book and not writing a single piece. On writing especially there are three motivations- my own guilt from past year, my father questioned why I have not written anything lately and a friend has penned her own comeback blog-post recently and she writes really well.

25

Had taken a week-long leave from work to celebrate Diwali and spend time with my parents. Every day of my leave was spent working from home, something my parents and I disapprove of. A leave is a leave, a leave from work. Working on leave from work is both oxy-moronic and moronic. Having said that, no one forced me to carry my work laptop home, nor did anyone ask me to log-on to office mail. When people mailed me, they got auto-replies of out of office. They also got replies from me, doing my job. Some asked that if I was working, why the auto-replies? Others would say sorry to bother you on your leave, but do this, and that, and also that. Most of them appreciated my prompt replies, but I absolutely loathed myself. Then I turned 25.

"How did you celebrate?", asked someone.

I did exactly what I have been doing for the past week. Woke up and went to the nearby lake-garden with my parents for a morning walk. It is the only time it's pleasant here, in my otherwise scorching hot city.

"So, what's the special today?", asked my aunt who had called to wish me.
"Learning to cook baingan ka bharta", my honest reply, met with amused laughter from all ends.

"Happy b'day madam, silver jubilee ho gaya! Itna kamaa rahi ho, what will you spend it on?", a  friend quizzed me.
"Pai pai jod ke bachaa rahi hu for my wedding :P", a dishonest reply, met with even more thunderous laughter.

"How's the party going on?", texted another friend ready to take an underwater swim with sea-turtles.
"Dad opened a little cabinet and I found mini bottles of Finlandia Vodka and Dry Gin in there. So the party's just getting started!" 😄

I instagrammed my picture wearing a kurti mommy had stitched for me, watched Shammi Kapoor's 'Teesri Manzil' with dad, visited a temple during our evening stroll, face-timed with everyone on my face-time list, gorged on home baked cake and did not touch my work laptop even for a second. I CELEBRATED! 🎉🎉

When walking to work takes you places..

I walk to work daily. It’s a blessing in Bombay to have a place a few kilometres away from office. Walking on traffic congested, fungi-infested lanes is way better than commuting in Mumbai rains or the local trains. 

What I do with all the time, money and energy I save by going on foot is simple: I cook, I read and I sleep well. Very plain and mundane it may sound, but this is exactly what I cherish- having a peace of mind, that often gets lost when you work in corporate world.

I cook two-three meals a day, and have realized that more often than not, cooking is therapeutic in nature. The colours each food item has during different stages of cooking- from raw to semi-cooked to ready-to-eat- are many more than in a rainbow. The sounds like splattering of oil, the whistling of pressure cooker or sparkling of tea are the kinds of cacophony I can live with. The fragrance of piping hot food stimulate the taste buds, or so I read in a primary school textbook years ago. There are few things that affect all my senses in this way.  What started as just a way to fill my stomach without emptying my pocket on restaurants/delivery food, is now a chore I look forward to.  From the disappointment of making uncooked/burnt/not-a-circle-shape rotis to the excitement of baking banana soufflé, I take a journey everyday through the valleys and mountains of emotions.

I read as often as I can. What stops me most of the times is binge-watching videos. Guilty. What I am reading these days seems to be interesting. The first 15 pages were loaded with Spanish and French words and phrases and references to Tainos , fuku, de Leon, JFK etc. This led to an extensive use of Google Translate and Google Search, where each search led to a new search. As an example, googling about de Leon led me to searching about a former Roman empire of the Iberian Peninsula. This introduced me to Basque- a language indigenous to regions adjacent to Spain and France (that kind of explains Spanish and French words and phrases being used in this novel). A search about Iberian Peninsula led me to check out the modern day Europe’s map, which reminded me of Prof SSB who taught us International Business Strategy. That gem of a man- he gave us assignments on India’s trade relations with countries like Paraguay and Uruguay, which I would never think about otherwise. It is partly because of his way of teaching, that now when I see my friend Instagramming about her vacation in Nuwara Eliya, I know that Nuwara Eliya means “city on the plain”- a city in the hill country of the Central Province, Sri Lanka.

And with all this feast of food and knowledge, I happily fall asleep every night, always thinking of what to cook the next day and which new search thread might unravel tomorrow J

Heartbreak

No, this is not about a failed romance. This is about adult life. It's about your best friend getting married and you being unable to attend her marriage because, work. It's about going from "can't-wait-for-the-big-day" to "so sorry Pappu, I cannot reschedule this 😢". It's about spending sleepless nights remembering every moment you have spent with your crazy pal, then replaying the entire conversation they had with you about them getting married and then rehearsing how you are going to tell them that this work thing has propped up which is killing you!

It is breaking my heart into small pieces and then breaking those pieces into smaller ones. Stealing a few minutes from work to watch the live-stream of her wedding, I notice how pretty Amma looks, laughing throughout the ceremony while holding a rice cake or something.

Can't help but think about how for a happy life one works and sometimes misses out on like the happiest moments ever because, work. Woke up this morning, looking for a Harry Potter portkey to touch and be transported to Hyderabad for the Reddy wedding. Tried to divert my mind saying career is important, so you gotta work work work work (Rihanna style). Got fed up with the fact that stars and muhurat decided her wedding date and it's not on a weekend. Remembered that my brother got engaged on a Monday and married on a Tuesday, but worked (from home) till the previous Friday.

While my brain plasters the broken pieces of heart with all this contemplation (=jhootha dilasa), the wedding live-stream and live commentary of my gang-mates on WhatsApp acts as the true medicine. God bless technology! And God bless Mr. Reddy- who now has a lifetime of Mounika's PJs to live with 😃.

Highlights

Last year was full of great experiences for me.

1. Got my first job in the first week of the first month of 2016.
2. Completed my education of 21 years. Out of the Student Zone :D
3. 45 days of summer in the USA. Alag hi duniya hai!
4. Worked in Sales in slums in Mumbai rains. Mentored by some really good people at work. 
5. Made my parents proud and re-lived the two greatest years with Gang at convocation at NITIE.
6. Was part of a Facebook Page and responsible for a few real hilarious (& viral) posts.
7. Met my sister-in-law-to-be. 
8. Attended my roomie/bestie/suar niece/kinda-like-my-big-sis Ipshi's wedding.
9. Developed an interest in cooking and explored(ing) food joints in Pune.
10. Continued to be inspired by dad, who now embarks on a new phase of life post retirement.

2016 certainly had many milestones. But one of the fondest memories remains when my mother spent 10 days with me in Pune ☺